Fix: Making this code useful #1
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At long last, the codebase no longer relies on “intro to programming” examples. This implementation uses base R only, replaces if/else with tasteful index gymnastics, and takes the scenic route through a string round-trip to ensure nobody confuses it for readable. Yes, it mutates and restores options so the linters don’t get bored. What use is a feature that isn't used.
If you’re wondering why it’s not simpler, the answer is because we’ve tried “simple” and look where that got us.